How to Make People Like You Even If You are Total Weirdo
Do a search for “how to be more likeable” and you will quickly see how popular and searched for this topic is. Therefore, I decided I was going to write my very own post on the subject, except I am going to add my own twist for people like me that feel like they are weird. Here are my best personal tips for how to make people like you even if you are a total weirdo.
Like your “weirdo” self
Why do people like me? I’m going to tell you the truth — maybe they don’t. The first start to being more likeable is liking yourself. That sounds lame, but it’s the truth. Most of the time how liked you are is how liked you “feel”. It is your own perception of yourself anyway. I’m not one that subscribes to the “I don’t give a crap what people think” philosophy. The “I don’t give a craps” aren’t necessarily well liked, but I do subscribe to the like yourself or you can’t expect anyone else to.
Have a good attitude
My dad made me read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People when I was really young. I don’t remember it all, but I do remember this part. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. I try my hardest to follow this rule. I refer to at as don’t be an asshole, but it’s more than that. Make a conscious effort not to be a chronic complainer. Nobody likes to be around someone who spends all their time complaining or criticizing people.
Be responsive to people
Try to be in tune to people’s needs. It’s more than just listening. As an empath I am always trying to figure out someone else’s needs. For example, some people want a kick in the butt, while others want you to be soft, gentle or give them positive pep talks. The person who likes a push, isn’t going to be receptive to being babied.
Be Genuine & Honest
People naturally like someone who isn’t fake. There is a fine line with “keeping it real” though. You don’t have to share every personal detail of your life or be over the top with your honesty, but people like authentic people. They want to know who you are and that you are who you say you are. The more genuine and honest you are, the more easy you are to trust and be friends with.
Chronic drama is a turn off
Confidence is a turn on, drama is not. The fastest way for someone to turn me off is to constantly be creating unnecessary drama. Gossiping, pot stirring, playing the victim, or creating a scene, are all turn offs for me. Have fun, goof off, but don’t be a drama queen. Nobody likes that.
Keep it classy, not trashy
Crack jokes, be funny, but keep it classy. Vulgar talk is a quick way to alienate people or make them uncomfortable. You are better off keeping your language appropriate for the masses than offending everyone with your potty mouth. Once you get to know someone, you will have a feel for what they are comfortable with.
People like when you listen and not just talk. If you are a big talker like me, this is one you will have to consciously work on. Pause, and let the other person talk. Before you say something, listen. Respond with feedback so they know you are actually paying attention to what they say. Saying little things like “that sucks” or “wow” lets people know you are listening. Ask questions when people are talking. And if you ask a question listen to the answer! There is nothing more annoying than someone asking you what your thoughts are and then zoning out after a couple seconds.
Check up on them
Have you ever had a friend that made you question whether they would still be your friend if you quit calling or texting them? Everyone likes reciprocation in a friendship. Let people know you value them by checking on them.
Don’t let anxiety kill your unique personality
Worrying about what other people think may keep you from being the interesting person you are meant to be. Don’t hold back so much. Show your true colors – your dorky sense of humor, your emotional side, your unique personality. When I try to be the someone I’m not, I have so much anxiety that I can’t carry a conversation. I love the expression “fake it till you make it” but don’t try to pretend to be another person. You won’t pull this off. I have learned to be okay with my weirdo ways. I have found that everyone is “weird” in their own way. Being comfortable with yourself makes you more likeable and more relatable.